"Crime Watch: The Evil of Open House Signs"

Darkness had fallen and only the darting insects could be heard above the wind in the palms.

I found myself being thankful for the combat experience I'd gained, as a Platoon Leader with the 196th Infantry Brigade in Viet Nam, all those years ago. When you need it, it comes rushing back. "Stay calm," I told myself, "others are counting on me." Black pants, shirt, shoes? Check. Dog tags taped for silence? Check. Camouflage sticks for my face and the back of my hands? Check. Cell phone, red lens flashlight, water? Check. OPEN HOUSE SIGN? Again, Check. In a nutshell... I was ready to engage my tormentor... in a reckless act of lawless disregard.

The Palm Coast city manager ( see: www.ci.palm-coast.fl.us/ ), you see, had told us Realtors of his vow to "go to battle" with those of us brazen and hardened enough to run rough-shod over the law... and wantonly post OPEN HOUSE SIGNS... flying in the face of the safety and welfare of the Flagler County citizenry. Jim Landon, it seems, doesn't have enough to do in his new job. So he is riding his pony into town from Texas, six-shooters blasting holes in OPEN HOUSE SIGNS. He went so far as to say, "It's something I'm passionate about!" Let me ask you this: "How, in the name of all that is good and holy, can anyone actually conjure up "Passion" over OPEN HOUSE SIGNS?" This fellow actually said he chose to accept a job in Palm Coast... partly because it didn't have a lot of "those little signs." Holy Lone Star State, Batman!

Anyway, my sellers needed me and I wasn't about to let them down. Twenty years as an Army Officer ingrains a "sense of mission." I crawled slowly out of the thick growth, watching and listening for signs of police patrols. It was time and I sprang into action. My breath came in short bursts and my senses were on high alert. Adrenalin coursed through my veins, giving me superhuman strength. Everything unfolded in slow motion and surreal imagery. But I did it. I really did it. I jammed an OPEN HOUSE SIGN into the ground at the corner of my seller's street. Then, feeling triumphant, I disappeared back into the darkness from which I had come.

The open house came on Sunday and we were successful in drawing several potential buyers... an offer may be coming in this week. But as for me? The Big House beckons. They took me down. "CSI: Palm Coast" found DNA at the crime scene, pointing to me as the perpetrator. Yeah, I admit it. I put that sign in... and I'd do it again.

For a petition to get this contentious sign issue resolved, see: http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/palmcoast/