"Moving is Hard in Post-Retirement Years"

 If you are in your "post-retirement" years... or your parents are, please read and internalize this post.  Understanding this may save you untold discomfort in the years to come.

I am a real estate broker in America's primary retirement mecca - Florida!  And believe me, I get all the jokes about blue haired drivers, early bird specials, and viagra at the seniors center, etc.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha!  Those old people sure are funny!  And to be sure there is humor there.  In addition, however, there is also cultural confusion.  This is not an unusual or atypical scenario:

• Mom and Pop work all their lives in New Jersey or Ohio or Michigan or some other place on the frozen tundra and dream of coming to Florida.  Ahhhhh, Florida... where the kids and the grand kids can come and visit all the time!  We'll swim and bike and hike and walk on the beach and life will be grand!
• The first year or two the kids come and visit.  But then two or three years has gone by and no kids!  Where are they?  Don't they love us any more?  Well, they are busy living THEIR lives... in their peak earning years... kids in school and sports... wanting to take vacations to some place other than Disney World and Gramma and Grampa's house... again.
• Then hips and knees get replaced and arthritis kicks in.  Triple by-passes and menopausal issues and prostate problems happen.  Taking care of the house is no longer easy.  The grass needs mowing and cleaning the pool is a chore no longer considered fun.
•  Mom and Pop miss the kids more than ever and want to be nearer to them.  Physical abilities diminish and memory fails more often than it used to.  Mom and Pop are becoming less capable... and they are feeling more and more alone as the years drift by. 
• Cell phones and computers and email and texting... Facebook and Skype, etc., should make it easier, but they become daunting tasks.
• Then, God forbid, Pop passes away and Mom is left alone, 2,000 miles away from the family.

Having just been through the sale of a home, as the "listing agent." here in Palm Coast, FL, for an 85 year old couple, has really brought this into focus for me.  It caught up to them in spades.  Going back to Michigan to an assisted living facility was a massive undertaking.  At 85 and quite frail, they could do almost nothing for themselves.  Going through 20 years worth of "stuff" proved overwhelming.  Only with the help of an also aging brother, a kind and caring neighbor, the arrival of a son a day before closing - and the grace of God - did we make it... (They called me today to tell me they made it to Michigan... and to say "Thank you" for helping them get there!)

If these things resonate with you, address some issues - now, rather than later:

• Talk about it.  Talk about the above scenario, as a family, and get people's input.
• Make sure you have both living and familial wills.
• Discuss health and death and burial issues.
• Get properties in Trust.
• Hire an attorney for this and get the best legal advice possible.
• Florida living trusts are all about taking smart and legal planning steps to minimize complexity, cost and grief following death... and peace of mind in the present! Remarkably, thousands of people fail to prepare their estate for legal transfer. Age, ill health or an accident leaves them incapable, incompetent or worse! Result? Their entire estate, along with the unraveling of taxes, creditor obligations and more "defers" to the probate court.
• Think of your living trust as a documentary form of "You" ... what you've worked for your entire life, the assets you've created, and your preferences for inheritance are entirely captured by your Florida living trust. You "fund" the trust with your financial and real property assets. You can amend it or determine the trust's day-to-day business ... it's revocable ... up until the time of your death. Thereafter, no change is permitted. Your Florida living trust reverts to an "irrevocable trust", managed by your successor trustee under strict rules until all assets have been legally transferred, taxes paid, and creditors paid.
• If you're looking for privacy, and potentially significant cost and time savings to your heirs, without the imposition of court-ordered probate, then examine further the Florida living trust.
• (from EZine article on this topic, by Robin J. Derry)
• Categorize and organize all the insurance, financial, and other "important papers."
• Make sure both spouses have access to and understand all bank accounts, IRA's, investments, property deeds, payment books, bill paying info, passwords, PIN numbers, etc.
• Start methodically purging "stuff" from the attic, garage, closets, etc.  If it's not needed, sell it or give it it away.  Lighten the load!
• Talk about retirement homes, assisted living, and "going with the kids" issues.
• Establish a relationship with an experienced local real estate broker (Here's where I volunteer), so when the time comes, you're not scrambling to find a good one.  Talk to them about their experience and understanding of the nuances required to work with you or your parents.  Believe me when I say that we often become like members of the family during these times.
• And finally, decide if Florida is your final place of residence.  (Like I've been told many times before, "This is where I'm staying until they plant me in the ground!")...
• If it is not, then make arrangements for that final move, while you are still young enough to do it - and also to enjoy it!