Saturday, September 13, 2008

"Seton High School - Class of 1963"

"When our high school days are over; We will very often sing; Of the many happy hours; Seton High, to us did bring."
The last day we sang that song together, was June 21st, 1963. We stood on the stage at the IBM Country Club Fieldhouse in Endicott, New York... diplomas in hand... and clueless, as to what lay ahead. We had a reunion in 1983 and, Man, were we full of ourselves! At 38, we were in our prime. I remember a lot of alcohol at that gathering. Then, again, in 1995 (I think), we had a "multi-year" get-together. It was nice, but diluted. Two weeks ago, however, on August 30th, 2008... time stood still. We gathered in Endicott for our 45th reunion - around a clever theme: "The Class of 63' Turns 63!" There is not much that can prepare you for something like this. Suffice it to say, that we looked different than we did at 17! The good news? We looked pretty good!
Most of us had been together since First Grade. Half from St. Ambrose Elementary in Endicott - and the other half joining us from St. James and other feeder schools in Binghamton and Johnson City. We knew one another from our common love of basketball and the ensuing friendly rivalries in the Catholic Schools League. "It was a time," I like to say, "when short, slow, white guys ruled the game." (Except for Joe, third from left , above, who was neither short, nor slow) As you can see from the photos, we were not a very diverse group, those days in Upstate New York... most all of us were from Western and Eastern European descent.
I can't begin to tell you how important these people were in my life. Up until the age of 8, I lived an idyllic family life. The next 10 years, however, were bleak... sometimes nightmarish... culminating with my mother taking her own life, the year after we graduated. Only a small handful knew any of this, but it didn't matter. When I was at school - life was good! The nuns taught us The Golden Rule and for the most part, we lived it out. They were strict... sometimes ridiculous... yet they kept us on the right path. One that stands out is Sister Anthony Louise (aka, "Tony Lou," ). She knew some of my situation and provided encouragement for me, where she could. I took to heart, one of her mantras: "To be successful, you need to be able to write a decent paragraph... and to be able to communicate your thoughts effectively to others." (In recent emails with her, now Sister Maria Cincotta, she said they were under orders to be quite strict. Looking back, she wishes they'd been able to be warmer and more approachable. Ahh, if we could all have "do-overs!") The coaches, although flawed like all of us, were men we could look up to. I can still hear the voices of Mr. Matola, Dinga, and Tarricone, echo off the old gym walls. Thank God for Mr. Deus, who saved me from "mathematical self-destruction." "Kurly Joe" got me through Physics and Mr. Noreika, through Chemistry. The priests were good fellows, also. Nothing like the bum raps many earned in those days. Father Kennedy, Van Amburgh, and Wieczorek... and Father Murphy, from St. James, had our best interests at heart. Father Zeder (a distant cousin), although aloof (as Principals are want to be) had his good days. How about Sister Gabrielle (aka "Gabby"), the Librarian, and her comical instructions to "Make sure the boys put magazines on their laps... if a girl might just sit there!?!?" And then there was Victor, the Custodian, who actually provided the key... that let us in the gym to play basketball... long after the lights were out.
Seventy strong graduated. Six in our extended group have passed away (that we know about): Jeanne Fotorny, Stanley Jackowski, Bill Kovac, Terry Turnock, Mickey White, and Janet Willard. The rest of us are: Mike "Big A" Almy, John Baker, Dave "Murray" Benson, Margie Blazey, Hugh Boyle, Linda Bystricky, Mary Jane "MJ" Cahill, Carol Ann Caforio, Jeanne Callaghan, Charlene "Char" Callahan, Connie Charsky, Bill Conaty, Patty "Cos" Cosentino, Jim "Cib" Cibulsky, Larry "Cousy" Davis, Gloria Dellos, Eileen Dunphy, Sharon Dwyer, Kathy "Dinky" Dolan, Elizabeth "Betty/Emma" Eck, Charlie "Finn" Fisher, Maria Giammichele, Paul Giolma, Kathy "Glees" Glezen, Barb Graham, Cathy Hancock, Peggy Griffin, Tom "Loin Cloth" Haines, George Hanley, Bob Henkiel, Margie Hradisky, Marilyn Horak, Mary Eileen "Sue" Jones, Rodney Julian, Kathy "Kopper" Kopcik, Rosalind "Roz" Kocik, John "Hair" Kovach, Carol Kraycovic, Linda "Myrtle" Kurkoski, Stephanie "Steph" Laddick, Sue Langevin, Margaret McKeon, Kathleen "Katie" McManus, Kenna Lou "JR" Mills, Patti Needham, Maryann "Mambo/Morning" Pastorack, Roberta "Bobbie" Pendered, Eileen Roehm, Mike Ryan, Dona Salamida, Joe "Roz" Rozmer, Sheila Scanlin, Fred Sebesta, Carol Smith, John "Smitty" Smith, Kathy Seliga, Ellen Svatek, Sandra "Sandy" Thayne, Joe "Pickle" Tiderencel, Angela "Angie" Tierno, Joyce Vaughan, John "Booker T" Watts, David "Crockett" White, Carl Williams, Sally Wilson, and Yours Truly - Frank "Zeke/Yatch" Zedar... the good looking fellow in the photo above:-)
The reunion was truly wonderful. To see them again was heart warming. Hugh had the best line of the night when he said, "I feel like we're at a masquerade party... and we've all come as our parents!" How true that was! It's been two weeks now and I wanted to wait to write this. I wanted to settle down a bit from the emotion of that experience. You know what the most frustrating thing was? I didn't get to spend time with everyone! There were those there that I was extremely close to... shared some amazing times and experiences with... and I didn't get to say more than a quick "hello." I still feel this tug to close the loop. Heck, I didn't even get to talk to my girlfriend, Kathy. We were together Junior and Senior years... we both had miserable home situations... and we had each other's back. I was looking forward to her telling my fiance some stories, but it didn't happen.
You know what was really unique about our class? There were no jerks... none. To be sure, we had our cliques and we were not immune from human nature. Yet we stuck by each other. No one took themselves to be "too cool" for the rest. As I look through my yearbook photos, I have at least one good memory from each and every "kid" in my class. No one will ever know the special spot I have in my heart for Stanley ( You can go to the bottom of the blog page, to "Older Posts" and check out Friday, May 25th, 2007, "High School Graduation and Memories of Stanley Jackowski"). He called me when I got home from Viet Nam and we met at Waples. The conversation we had was life-changing. Brain cancer took him much too early. I've lived a full life... and I sure don't live in the past... yet at 63 I still often find my mind wandering to those days... and to those special people. It was a kinder, gentler time - and I miss it. Thank you, Betty, Kopper, and Sandy, for organizing this great party. As I was driving away, I felt good knowing we'll do it again in five years... (When my classmates read this... PLEASE add your thoughts at the bottom of this Blog Post. Did I leave someone out? Do you have a special memory that you'd like to share? Instructions to leave a comment:
  1. Right under these instructions, click on the word, "comments."
  2. There will be a block marked, "Leave your comment." Type your thoughts in that block.
  3. There will be a block marked, "Word Verification." In the block, just re-type the word written in squiggly letters. (This is to keep "Spam" ads from auto-filling the site)
  4. Next, you will see "Choose an identity," with four choices. Click on "Name/URL" and type your name in the "Name" block.
  5. Click on "Publish Your Comment."
  6. There! Done! Easy! You are now a blogger!

Thank you, everyone:-) Frank

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Frank,
I thought your blog regarding the "63 reunion, past reunions, high school years, and life in general" to be beautifully written and provoking from me both smiles and tears.
St. Anthony Louise's influence shines through in your writings ! She's be so proud.
I posted to the blog, but didn't see it, so I decided to e-mail to thank you for providing all of us such wonderful insight to those years long ago.
Right now I'm principal of St.Joseph School in Endicott and every time I return to OLS/Seton (as Seton High on Broad Street is now called) for meetings, the high school feelings always surface.
Thanks again, Frank, sorry I didn't get to attend the "63" reunion.
Angela Tierno

Anonymous said...

Angela- You are the first to respond. You win! Principal at St. Joseph's? I worked with 6th, 7th, and 8th grade boys for a few years as a mentor. Challenging and exhausting... and rewarding! I'll bet they love you:-) See you in five years? Frank.

Anonymous said...

Hi Frank--

Your blog is fantastic!! Thanks for bringing back such great memories. Sorry I couldn't make it to the reunion. I own an antique shop in coastal Southport, NC and we're inundated with tourists through Labor Day.
Who are all those "old people" in the photos? Just kidding! I really would like to know who they are, as I have no clue. I hope Betty can post pictures of not only those who attended, but those who couldn't.
Hope to make the next one in 5 years.

Barbara Graham Pascucci

Anonymous said...

Hi, Barb! I'm glad you enjoyed the blog. I'm limited to three pictures and these two group shots seemed to be the best. Some folks are regrettably hidden and there were a few more there than these photos show. Boys (Left to Right): Dave Benson, George Hanley, Joe Rozmer, Frank Zedar, Mike Almy, Jim Cibulsky, Mike Ryan, Hugh Boyle. Girls (Left to Right): Kathy Glezen, Patty Cosentino, Kenna Lou Mills, Kathy Kopcik, Betty Eck, Sandy Thayne, Carol Smith (behind Dinky), Kathy Dolan, Kathy Seliga (behind Roz), Roz Kocik, Stephanie Laddick, Carol Ann Caforio, Sue Langevin, Gloria Dellos (behind Connie), Connie Charsky. Sure hope your antique business is doing well! See you in five years! Frank.

Anonymous said...

Frank,
I posted a comment--the first on your blog--but it didn't show up. (Is that where that phrase came from: "Be the first on your blog to..."?) Anyway, I'm trying again.

It really was great to see everyone, and I can't wait till we do it again. Your blog is great! You captured the essence of the reunion, and I hope to read it over many times to "relive" those special memories.

Thanks again!
Stephanie

Anonymous said...

Class of 63' - Sister Anthony Louise sent me this comment and I'm pasting it from my email (Frank): Maria Cincotta to me
show details Oct 14 (10 days ago):

Frank, I am frustrated because I am so technologically challenged! I tried to answer your blog on the blog page by following the instructions, but my message was erased. I did not do the identity correctly. I am going to type my message below. Would you please be so kind as to add it to the comments on your blog. (I've never "blogged" before!)

Dear Class of 1963: It has taken me a long time to respond to Frank's outstanding tribute to the Class of '63 as you turn 63. He probably meant his blog to be a collection of memories of the reunion rather than a formal tribute, but a tribute it indeed is. Frank quoted me in his blog. He must be eminently successful, since he writes such a "decent" paragraph and communicates his thoughts so totally effectively!

I have not replied for 2 reasons: 1) I can think only when I have a pen in my hand and a blank sheet of paper before me. I tried at least 5 times to print the blog, but the computer would simply not print it. I wanted it on paper. 2) I was kind of emotional myself as I scrolled down all those dear and familiar names, both those still with us and those gone before us (to prepare our heavenly mansions, I hope).Thanks to Frank's reply to Barbara Graham Pascucci, I can now identify everyone! Yes, you do look good. You are a fine looking bunch!! Same smiles as when you were 17 !

Thank you so much for re-awakening my loving memories of you and the Seton High School staff.
(Would you believe, I am again at another (Elizabeth) Seton High School!) You were my first "mission" and will always occupy a really special place in my thoughts and in my heart. May you enjoy many future reunions. Much love, Sr. Maria aka Sr. Anthony Louise aka Tony Lu (who failed "Blogging 101")

Anonymous said...

Frank,
I contacted the Catholic Schools Office about having our reunion photos published in the Alumni newsletter only to find out that it was already at the printers. As the saying goes, it seems like I'm always a day late and a dollar short!!! Oh, well, I'll submit them for inclusion in the next newsletter.
Betty (aka "Emma")

Anonymous said...

I went to UE and graduated in 1959 (the year your class started at Seton). I wanted to go to Seton but my parents couldn't send me. Reading your Blog brought tears to my eyes. I'm going to my next UE reunion and I'm going to look at it through different glasses. Thank you for this.

gloria dellos shafer said...

Man this took a while---so sorry.You are a marvelous writer.Thanks so much---of course I will be at the next one---God willing.You are full of joy and peace---I can hear that in your letter---write more.
No,I don't think you forgot anyone. No one can find our dear Rod julian---I went to the Senoir prom with him and he was a special person. I think he may be in NYCity. gloria

Anonymous said...

I stumbled on this site because I have to organize my 10th high school reunion and was Googling stuff like this. I was class president of my class in 2003 from a large class (over 500 kids) and didn't really want to do this.
Your blog made me see that this could be a real good thing! I guess we will all get older, so I better get busy. Only have 2 years. I'll crank up a Facebook page for the class. Thx.

Lynda DeLuca said...

Hello Class of '63. I am class of '64 and there were many other DeLuca's scattered around the years. The class of '64 is trying to plan our 50th for next summer. We will take any and all suggestions. I love the idea of the blog but realize that not everyone is up on blogging. So we are emailing and trying to stay in touch with each other. Sister Anthony Louise was quite an influence on all of us as writer.

Lynda

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